Well, we have started our three weeks of craziness. From this past Friday (August 31) until September 18, we are home for 5 of those evenings.

Dave has conveniently volunteered us for a committee at church during one of the busiest times of the year for us. I don't know why, but it seems like the end of August through mid-September is crazy every year. Last year was the same way. So anyways, Dave and I are the media team leaders for the capital campaign at our church. We are fundraising to build a church building (we currently meet in an elementary school). It is good to be a part of all of this - just last night I realized that God is even in the brochure-making parts of our lives. So if God cares about our brochure-making stresses in life, then He surely cares about my babies more than I can even imagine over in the Philippines. It is good knowing that God knows who my babies are, and where my babies are, and when we'll be united with them. I know I say "babies" and "them" a lot, and that is because we are really praying that we are able to adopt 2 children from the Philippines on the first go-around. I don't think it's crazy - I really feel like we could do it and would be greatly blessed by having 2 children who are siblings.

The one good thing about the craziness of our life right now is that it does not allow me to sit here and think, "Okay, we sent our dossier to the Philippines on August 16th. It is now September 4th. We should be hearing something in about 2-4 weeks. Okay, what are those dates? What can I expect? What kind of information will I receive? Then what do I do? How are we paying for this? How are we going to be able to wait so long???" Instead, I stay busy with other things, and when I think about the adoption I pray that God is guiding the people in the Philippines to make wise decisions. I pray that our paperwork moves through the government in a timely fashion. But mostly, I pray that my children, their birthparents, and their caregivers are being watched over right now - that they are safe and loved.

Dave and I got the chance to talk with his family this weekend about the adoption. If I had my choice, I'd talk non-stop about the adoption forever and ever. Luckily, I understand that this would drive other people crrrrrrrazy! So whenever we get a chance to talk about it with people we love, and who are excited for us, we gab away.

At one point during the weekend I got to talk with Dave's mom about the weird emotions that I have experienced. At all times I am thrilled that we are adopting. I can't wait to meet our children, and have them home with us, and be a family. But there are times that I still mourn the fact that we haven't been able to get pregnant. It is such a conflicting emotion. It isn't that I feel like adoption is second-best at all, I just wish that I could experience the very beginning of my child's life. I know that I hold them in my heart, instead of my belly and arms, from the time they are babies. It's hard to explain these emotions, and very difficult to admit that I still long to be pregnant someday. I once read a book called Inconceivable - and it was a phenomonal non-fiction read. I would recommend it to anyone who experiences these crazy feelings. It explains what I talk about here way better than I could explain it.

So that's what I am feeling tonight. Thanks for reading our blog, and praying with us through this journey.