Merry Christmas

Christmas has come and gone once again, and I have to say that this year was a very good Christmas. Some years I get so caught up in the stress of traveling/trying to see everyone/buying gifts/etc, that I forget to stop and enjoy Christmas and reflect on what it's really all about. This year I tried to take it all in stride, and soak up as much of the good stuff as I could.

Gus had lots of fun this Christmas too. Below is a picture of his Christmas haircut (if you look closely, you will see that not all of his black hair was cut off - hee hee), and a video of him opening Dave's Christmas present. I got such a kick out of it that I didn't stop him, and Dave was happy to get his present a day early :)

We hope you all had a Merry Christmas and have a blessed New Year!!

They always come in 3s...

...I just didn't think it would be 3 days in a row of hearing that people I know and loved have died. Ugh. On my way home from my Uncle Ted's funeral last night, my good friend Emma called. Emma works at Sunrise Assisted Living, where I worked for 6 years (2 of those years were in Minnetonka, where Emma still works). Emma always kept me up to date about one of my favorite residents - Pat. Emma let me know last night that they weren't expecting Pat to live very much longer. I found out today that Emma got a call from Sunrise 4 minutes after she got off of the phone with me that he had passed away.

Pat was a great guy. He was by far one of my favorite people all of the Sunrises that I worked at. He lived in the dementia neighborhood, but I always felt like we clicked right away. The day he moved in, he was not wanting to take his medication. I was getting ready to walk out of the door at the end of my workday, when my co-worker came up to ask me if I could give them a hand in trying to get him to take his meds. I came up to his room where he was acting out and agitated and sat down next to him. He looked over at me and smiled really big - I'm pretty sure he liked my red coat. He calmed down and took his meds for me, and went along his merry way.

Pat always had a hard time being understood when he was trying to express himself. The words he would say would come out strangely, but he would still smile at us like we understood what he was saying. He was one of the few people there with dementia who still knew how to read. One day, he came up to me and my friend Nicole and was reading our name badges. He looked at mine and said, "Rat-chel", and then looked at hers and said, "Nicoloy". So ever since that day some of my friends have called my Ratchel. A few months later I was walking down the hall when I came upon Pat with his shoe untied. I bent down to tie his shoe and he asked me who I was. I told him my name was Rachel, and he said, "Ah, Rainsaw". So that was my other nickname there.

When I was having a bad day, I would often times go up to Pat's room to see his smile. Anyone who knew Pat knew that he smiled with his WHOLE face. He had the biggest grin that would always put me in a better mood. He would talk to me, and while most of his words didn't make sense, every once in a while I'd catch a statement that would make me laugh because it made sense in a roundabout kind of way.

There are so many stories that I have about Pat. But they don't do any justice in written words, they are stories you have to hear to appreciate. I know that I will remember these stories for a long, long time. I hope that when I grow old I can make people smile the way that Pat did.

No more of these phone calls for a while, okay God??

More sad news

This morning around 1 am, my dad's uncle, Duane passed away. He'd been battling cancer and in the past few days was in a coma. Please be in prayer for his wife, Helen, and their family. One interesting story that came out of this was that shortly before he died, Duane came out of the coma with a big smile on his face. He looked around and asked for his brothers Elmer, Mervin and Glen (my grandpa). Elmer and Mervin have passed away, so his son said, "No Dad, you are still here with us". Duane said, "Oh". Then he went back to sleep and died shortly thereafter. How great that we know he is greeting heaven with a smile knowing that he'll be reunited with his brothers who have gone on before him!! My grandpa wasn't sure why he asked for him. He just said, "He must have forgotten that I haven't died yet!"

So now both of my parents have lost uncles in the past 4 days. I have been very blessed to have not had very much loss or death in my life. My grandpa Don died 12 years ago, but otherwise the rest of my grandparents are living. It starts to hit home when people who are younger than my grandparents are passing away. I'll admit it scares me to think of having to deal with their loss someday, but the bright side to that is that I know where my grandparents are spending eternity.

I have 2 other great uncles (one on my mom's side, and one on my dad's side) who are not doing well health-wise. Please be in prayer for all of these families.

Uncle Ted

Tonight I received the sad news that my great Uncle Ted passed away - he was married to my grandma Alice's sister, Hope. I am one of the fortunate few who has had a close relationship with some of my great aunts and great uncles. Up until I went off to college, I thought it was completely normal to see all of your great aunts and uncles when you went to visit your grandma and grandpa in Iowa. I've always enjoyed spending time with all of these great people, and my great Uncle Ted was no exception.

Uncle Ted always had a smile on his face, and was a kind, gentle man. He was always interested in what we were up to, and Dave and I had great opportunities to get to know Uncle Ted in the last few years. My favorite memory of Ted is from this past June. My cousin, Matt, got married, and Hope and Ted came to the wedding. Ted smiled the entire weekend, and even got out on the dance floor with my sisters and me!! We had a great time dancing it up and teasing Ted about how his shiny head was going to get all the ladies to dance with him on the dance floor. I am so grateful that I have these memories of my Uncle Ted.

Dave's favorite memory of Uncle Ted is from Christmas 2004. We had brought my grandma Alice up to spend Christmas with us and Dave's family. When we brought her back down to Iowa, we met my aunt Mary Lee at my great Aunt Helen's house (another of Grandma Alice's sisters). We ate lunch there, along with Hope and Ted. That was the first time Dave got to really sit down and get to know Ted, Howard (Helen's husband), and Mel (Mary Lee's husband). Through getting to know each other, Ted and Dave found out that they both only had one kidney. It was their bond :)

Below is the picture from that Christmas of the men:

Dave, Howard (standing), Ted, and Mel

The ladies: Great Aunt Hope (Ted's wife), Great Aunt Helen (Howard's wife), Grandma Alice, and Aunt Mary Lee (Mel's wife)

Please keep my Great Aunt Hope in your prayers, along with the rest of their family.

Christmas pageants, sledding and good times

Our weekend was fun. We had a good mix of being busy with friends, finishing shopping, attending Christmasey things and relaxing. Friday night we babysat our former pastor's kids. They are 4 of the funniest and nicest kids I have ever met, and we always have a good time with them. We brought them over to our house, and they helped us finish decorating our house for Christmas and played with Gus. A good time was had by all. They give us lots of good advice on how to discipline our kids, and actually have some good ideas (usually on things they've experienced or been punished for in the past).
My favorite quote of the night was something I heard in passing. Do you know those Staples commercials where someone pushes an "Easy" button, and whatever they are doing is made simple? Well, one of the kids said, "Let's just get one of those Easy buttons that you can put in any room of your house!" And they were serious.

On Saturday we got to go sledding with some friends from my old work. We had a great time, and I have the bruises to prove it! I don't know why, but I bruise very easily, and usually don't know where I got my bruises from. We had fun playing games after it got dark and eating way too many sweets.

Sunday morning was the children's Christmas service at our church. I got SUCH a kick out of the kids up on the stage. There was the obligatory little girls lifting their dresses or shirts over their heads, one little girl laying down on the stage and rolling around, other kids trying to walk into the center of the production to steal the show, etc... But my favorite moment came when the girl who had the wireless mic on was backstage, and suddenly whispered loudly to her friends, "I have GOT to get these boots off, they're..." and she trailed off as she or the sound guys realized that she was being broadcast over the speakers.

Our good friends, Aaron and Nikki were sitting by us and leaned over to say, "We can't wait until next year or the year after when your kids are up there too!! That made me excited to think about :) My favorite part is that our kids have the potential to be the same age as their Sam, so they could be the best of friends!! I can just picture Sam and our kids holding hands up on the stage being as cute as can be. I know that day will come faster than I can imagine.

We also got to meet another couple while we were at Aaron's school concert (he's the band/choir teacher) last night who adopted 4 times from Korea. Nikki wanted to introduce us, and all of a sudden said, "Wait, is this one of those 'what not to say' things... To want you to meet other people who have adopted?" No way, we LOVE meeting other people who have adopted to hear their stories and wisdom. Introduce us to these people ANYtime!! We had so much fun listening to their stories and advice. We are excited to integrate the Philippine culture into our lives, and celebrate our children's "homecoming" (or some people call it "gotcha day") anniversaries!

Sorry I have no pictures to post today. Dave thinks I have an unnatural addiction to posting pictures on our blog.

Petition

So a gal at work and I decided today that we are going to start a petition to send to Mother Nature. We've decided that maybe if we get enough signatures, we can get spring here by January. What do you think?? Who's in?

Okay, so maybe that won't work. But I'm already tired of cold weather, static-y hair, electric shocks when I enter or exit any room, vehicle or chair. I have to agree with Maddie, our 4-year old niece, when she told my sister this morning that she's "tired of having to put this jacket on every time I go outside". I second that, Maddie!! I wish I could just do what Grace (her little sister) does when she has to go outside - throw a temper tantrum until some grown up picks me up and keeps me warm. If anyone has an inkling to send us on a warm weather destination vacation this winter, we wouldn't say no to that kind of generosity :)

So how is Christmas shopping going for everyone? We are nearly done, and hoping to finish up a little more over our lunch break today. After last week's Christmas drama at church, I'm finding myself focusing on what Christmas is really about. The simplicity of the Jesus' birth is something that blows my mind, when you imagine the different ways He could have been introduced to the world. I wish you all could have seen the play last weekend. It did a great job of portraying this.

Darn Christmas cookies, though. I am feeling gross today because people at work have too many goodies that jump out at me whenever I turn a corner. So tonight I HAVE to work out after we get home - no ifs, ands or buts about it!! Someone lock me in a glass case with no goodies for a while, okay?

What not to say...

Okay, I want to address some of the remarks we have gotten regarding infertility, adoption, etc... I will preface this by saying that MOST of the people who we surround ourselves with always say the right things, and ALL of them are super supportive of our struggles with infertility and adoption.

I made the mistake a couple months ago of volunteering the information of our adoption to a person I hadn't seen in years. He was a young guy - in his early 20's - who was single, and a pretty nice guy from what I knew of him. He asked what was new in my life, and I said, "We're adopting from the Philippines!!" He looked at me with a look of disdain and said, "Why would you do that?" I was completely speechless for a minute, then I glared at him and shook my head without saying anything. I just had no response. Why would I do what? Provide a loving a warm home for children who I will love dearly?? What a psycho. So that's #1 - don't EVER say that to someone who is adopting. Adoption is a beautiful thing.

Secondly, as a woman who struggled with infertility and is now adopting, that does not mean that I am choosing adoption because I don't want to get pregnant, or I don't think I could get pregnant someday. I had a couple of people say to me, "Hey! You'll get your kids without the awfulness of pregnancy and childbirth". Um... what? I have no response every time I hear this from someone (kind of a pattern with my responses). I would wish for nothing more than to be able to be with my children from the moment they are conceived. I wish no child had to go through the awfulness that most have to go through before they are home with their forever family - the orphanages, abandonment issues, and the list goes on. Adoption is NOT easier than pregnancy/childbirth, so I'm not getting the "easy way out" by adopting.

Third, when a person tells you they are adopting, do NOT EVER say, "Oh, so you can't have your own?" THESE children are my own children, whether I give birth to them or not. And for us, adoption isn't a second choice. We always knew we wanted to adopt, we just didn't know it was going to come first for us. If we do get pregnant someday, that will be great!

I also got a comment about 2 weeks ago that I've gained weight since high school (I am wondering who on this planet didn't gain weight 10 years after high school?). As I was poking around on other infertility/adoption blogs, I saw that many other women struggling with the stress of infertility saw their bodies take a hit. I am no exception. From the time we started trying to have children, I have gained 25 pounds, and am up 4 sizes. I had the mindset that I was going to pregnant any day, so why not let myself eat whatever I wanted and pretend I was eating for 2?

I made a decision in April that I was going to get in shape - no matter WHAT it took. I began running on a regular basis, and *attempting* to watch what I eat. I joined a gym a couple of months ago to lift along with my cardio workout, and am finding working out to be slightly addictive. I feel better, and am generally a happier person when I can workout. My family joined in on this endeavor 11 weeks ago, and we have a Biggest Loser-Carlblom Style competition going on. We all have our goal weights, and an incentive to be the one to lose the most weight each week ($2!!). At the end there is a prize of even more money for whoever loses the highest percentage of weight. I haven't seen a huge change in my body since I started this working out thing, but I'm not giving up! The little changes that I do see are motivation to keep on!! Since I don't get to give birth to my babies (for now), I am going to be one fit momma by the time I get my children.

Simply Christmas

Sorry, Anonymous (aka N.T.P.) for not posting about yesterday's play sooner!!

So yesterday was our church play that Dave and I were a part of. Let me tell you - Dave did a PHENOMENAL job!!! He did not miss any cues or lines, and hit everything dead on. He and Aaron did an awesome job portraying "working class/blue-collar" angels. They were the comic relief in a beautifully choreographed service focused on the basics of Christmas - Jesus' birth. Our good friend, Nikki, was the mastermind behind the service, so a huge WOOT WOOT to Nik. She brought the music, arts, drama together so beautifully. My (tiny) part went well too, even though my Mary veil fell sideways during the second service - I just continued on with my serene smiling at baby Jesus :)

This weekend we also got to make Christmas cookies with my parents. They came up on Saturday for a sleepover, then came to the play at our church. We made all kinds of Christmas cookies Saturday, so for the next few weeks if you are at our house you will be required to partake in the snacking of said cookies!

After the play yesterday, we went out for lunch with Dave's family, my family and Nikki, Aaron, Sam and Nikki's mom, Dianne. We had so much fun laughing and feeling the relief of being done with the stress of the play! After lunch, we headed out to a birthday party for our nephew, Eric. He turned the big 3 today - happy birthday, Eric!!

I also had fun basking in the congratulations of our "pregnancy" yesterday. Nik told me that our good friend, Jane (who was the painter of the beautiful star in the play yesterday) said to her, "Someone go tell Rachel she shouldn't be lifting - she's expecting!" Then she remembered that we are expecting, but I'm not physically pregnant - I'm pregnant in my heart :) I've had lots of comments from my girlfriends that I should start taking advantage of the "pregnancy" and make Dave lift things for me, eat pickles, drink root beer and nap as much as possible. I think those are all great ideas!! I just may have to take them all up on it.

Here are pictures from this weekend's festivities:

Alvin the Angel and Mary, the mother of Jesus

Harold and Alvin (aka Aaron and Dave) as blue-collar angels on their cloud (they are snow-throwing angels)

Joseph and Mary (aka Aaron K. and Rachel)

New Poll!

Hi all, I have created a new poll to see what you all think about when we will get our referral. I added it to the top of the page this time, as you can see. To see the results from the last poll (yay to you all who voted for "by Christmas"!!), scroll to the bottom of the page.

Dave slaved away on the closet this weekend, and as a result we have a beautiful closet in our child/ren's room! We've already started filling the shelves with the gifts we've received along the way for our child/ren, which is sooooo much fun! I'll take some pics to post soon, then you can check out Dave's handiwork yourselves.

This weekend Dave is in a Christmas play at our church. He is a "blue-collar" angel, along with our good friend, Aaron. It is a comedy-drama about what the angels' idea of Jesus's arrival on earth was. I'm very excited to see him in action. I've been helping him learn the lines, and the only thing he needs to work on is not saying, "darn it" (or some such word) under his breath when he forgets a line - we don't want that to be picked up by the wireless mic!! I also have a small part in the play as Mary. It should be a good time :)