A good news kind of day...

(We did not receive approval yet, but we got other good news today that makes us very happy)

Today I e-mailed Karin (remember, she's our adoption coordinator with Hand in Hand Adoptions). I wasn't really going crazy not knowing, but was feeling very curious about why we hadn't heard of our approval yet. Karin e-mailed me back to let me know that she hadn't heard anything, but quite often they will hear from ICAB months after the approval has happened (like we may hear in December that we were actually approved in October!). Karin said that no news is actually good news because it means that ICAB did not have further questions about our dossier or need additional information.

Then she hit us with a second piece of happy news. Currently she does not have any families with Hand in Hand who have waited longer than 11 months for a referral from the date they are approved from ICAB!!! She said that the wait times have been cut in half in the past year (it used to take 23-24 months for a family to get a referral after their approval). This is such exciting news for us, as we have been expecting for it to be 2 more years from the time we are approved by ICAB to receive a referral. To think that we may receive a referral by next Christmas is SUCH exciting news for us!!!

I've been feeling pretty peaceful about the adoption in the past couple of days. This past Sunday I had a very rough day. That morning, right before church, I decided to check my e-mail. I read that a woman in my Yahoo Adoptions group (who is using the same agency we are, but lives in a different state) had gotten her approval. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm very excited for this family to receive their approval. What really got me was reading that she had sent her dossier in 1 WHOLE MONTH after we did.

Dave and I were supposed to head over to "Celebration Sunday" at our church for our new fundraising campaign. Needless to say, I was not feeling very celebratory and actually spent the majority of the church service crying my eyes out. I felt pretty stupid standing in the front row crying, but I just couldn't seem to stop. Dave was so good - he just went and got me some kleenex and put his arm around me. But then Pastor Jon said something in his sermon that really made me think. He said, "God puts desires in our hearts. But He doesn't put those desires in our hearts for US to fulfull. He puts them in our hearts so that HE can fulfill them, and we give him all glory and praise". Hmmmmm... I like that - I can give this over to God and quite trying to analyze every little piece of it in my mind. Plus, I know for a fact that when God fulfills my desire it will be better than anything I could have imagined for myself!!!

Then, earlier this week on our *long* drive home from work, Dave asked me what will happen if we are never approved to adopt, and are never able to get pregnant. Will we still be able to be joyful in knowing that God's will for our life does not include children?? I really had to think long and hard about that one. Dave challenged me to live my life being joyful in knowing I'm living in God's will - whether that includes being a mother or not. Hearing that and taking it to heart has really changed my outlook on life in the past couple of days. I don't feel like life is hopeless, I don't dwell on what I can't control (like getting approval from ICAB), but most of all I'm focusing on living my life to further the kingdom of God - loving people, praying for people, and focusing on God rather than myself.

So I'm feeling giddy with being in a good mood for the past couple of days. It may also help that I've been working out every night of this week. My goal is to be one fit momma when my babies come home. It really does wonders for my attitude!!

Two cuties in their Halloween costumes visiting us at work

Gus showing off his "tough guy" costume at Halloween