Ahhhh... the Grateful Dead phrased it so well with that song. I was thinking back on how far Dave and I have come in this crazy journey - infertility and then adoption. I decided I wanted to write out a timeline going that far back, so that I could have it to remind myself. I wanted to remind myself of the kinds of despair and sunshine we have felt. It's weird, but I wouldn't have this any other way. Dave and I have grown together so closely, feeling like we are already our own little family. We've discovered things about ourselves and each other that I know we probably wouldn't have if we hadn't gone through these ups and downs.
*September 2003 - Decided to start TTC (trying to conceive) and went off of birth control.
*November 2003 - Bought a book on charting (I can't remember the name because I gave the book away when it was obvious we would need more than that to conceive).
*May 2005 - Went to see a doctor at Lakeview Clinic in Waconia and mentioned to her that we were having trouble TTC. It is discovered that Rachel does not ovulate on her own, and needs drugs to help with that.
*May 2005-November 2005- Went on 5 rounds of Clomid with blood tests each month.
*January 4 2006 - Dave goes to see a specialist to see if there is a MF (male factor).
*January 19 2006 - Both of us go to Western Ob-Gyn to discuss infertility options with the doctors there. She recommends more extensive testing for Dave at his specialist, and decides to schedule a HSG (hysterosalpingogram) for Rachel to see if there is any blockage in her f. tubes. We also plan to do Clomid (for Rachel), and IUIs (Intrauterine Inseminations).
*February 1 2006 - We discover Dave needs to be on Prednisone due to MFI (male factor infertility). Rachel has a meltdown in the doctor's office because the doctor is so mean (but now can't remember what was said).
*February 22 2006 - A (painful) HSG shows that Rachel has no blockage of her f. tubes.
*February 28 2006 - The first round of Clomid and IUIs, and a BFN (Big Fat Negative).
*March 29 2006 - The second round of Clomid and IUIs, and a BFN.
*April 2006 - We would be going to be out of town during the time I would need to do IUIs, so we forgo them for that month.
*May 23 2006 - None of the eggs the Clomid stimulated grew large enough to do the IUIs for that month. Rachel has a huge meltdown and stays home from work that day.
*June 2006 - Once again, we would be out of town during the time I would need to do IUIs, so we forgo them for that month.
*July 9 2006 - The last round of Clomid and IUIs, and the final (heart wrenching) BFN.
*July 20 2006 - We meet with a RE (Reproductive Endocronologist) who gives us our options. We make an appointment for an IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) psych appointment (they have to decide that you are mentally stable enough to go through the process).
*August 9 2006 - Dave and I both felt that God is leading us away from IVF and toward adoption, we admit it to each other and laugh giddily when we discover we feel the exact same way. I call to cancel our IVF orientation appointments that week.
*August 2006 - We decide we want to go with internation adoption - the Philippines to be exact. And we find an agency in Minnesota who works with the Philippines - Hand in Hand International Adoptions.
*September 13 2006 - We attend the Hand in Hand "Orientation Night" and discover just how well the Philippines matches up with both of our values. We also find out that I need to turn 27 before we can send in our paperwork to the Philippines. Karin recommends that we wait until January 2007 before we start the process.
*January 12 2007 - We send in our Hand in Hand application and application fee to begin the process.
*February 7 2007 - We meet with Karin to begin filling out our paperwork for the dossier, and put down more money for our USCIS fingerprints/application for visa for our children. She gave us a large binder to take home filled with the requirements we needed to meet in order to finish our dossier.
*February 17 2007 - We attend our first all-day training session with Hand in Hand, and discover that Karin is an AWESOME teacher.
*March 17 2007 - We attend our second all-day training with Hand in Hand.
*April 11 2007 - We both get our physical exams showing that we are healthy enough to adopt children.
*April 17 2007 - Our first dog, Marley dies :(
*April 21 2007 - We attend our third all-day training with Hand in Hand.
*May 16 and 23 2007 - We both have psych evals that include MMPIs.
*June 3 2007 - We get the results of our MMPIs that show Rachel is a fearful person, and Dave avoids confrontation, but otherwise we are psychologically able to adopt children.
*June 18 2007 - We finish our autobiographies, make our next payment to Hand in Hand and send in all of the paperwork needed to schedule our home study.
*July 11 2007 - I turn 27, and we are both finally old enough to adopt from the Philippines.
*July 13 2007 - We have our homestudy with Diane the social worker. The home study lasts longer than it should because we keep going off track with Diane and chatting about fun stuff. We heart Diane, just like Karin.
*July 18 2007 - We get fingerprinted for the USCIS application to adopt an orphan/s (and get their visa(s) after we get a referral).
*August 1 2007 - We send in our remaining paperwork and next payment to Hand in Hand. At last - it is all out of our hands!!
*August 3 2007 - Rachel's mom's birthday, and the day our dossier paperwork is sent around for the signatures needed from Hand in Hand.
*August 17 2007 - Our dossier is sent over to the Philippines.
*September 20 2007 - We are approved by the USCIS (the U.S. side) to adopt an orphan
*September 30 2007 - Dave's mom's birthday, and the day we are approved as PAPs (Prospective Adoptive Parents) with ICAB in the Philippines, and our names are put on the waiting list!! This notification gets lost somewhere between the Philippines and Hand in Hand, however, and we don't get this information for 2 months.
*October 9 2007 - I e-mail Karin to let her know I have an irrational fear that our dossier fell out of the airplane and is floating in the ocean. She assures me that it is not, and is at the ICAB office.
*November 9 2007 - I e-mail Karin yet again to ask if she's heard any news. She assures me that no news is good news - it means that haven't found any issues with our dossier. She also tells me the exciting news that referral wait times are going down significantly, and our wait time could be as short as 11 months to get a referral after we get approved!!
*November 29 2007 - Karin calls to tell me the VERY exciting news that we have received our approval, and have in fact been "officially" waiting for 2 months without even knowing it!! Now that we are on the PAP list, it is illegal for the Philippines NOT to match us with a child. Woot!
*Currently - I am NESTING. We are trying to learn as much as we can about the Philippines, and getting more and more excited as our referral gets closer and closer. So far, I am not stressing about this wait. I feel peaceful reassurance that I know can only come from God that we will be matched and united with our child/ren in His perfect timing.
As I look back at this timeline, I remember the insanely deep sadness I felt through infertility, and waiting for our approval. I know that through these dark times, God built me up as a woman of Christ. I feel as though my character is changing for the good, and that makes me happy. I can't wait to see the children God has planned for our family, and to watch Dave grow into the awesome dad that I know he is going to be. Yay :)
And thanks for reading my crazy long posts... More pics in the next post - I promise!!
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1 comment:
Rachel,
I'm sorry to hear that you had to go down such a long and painful path, but God has chosen your family and you will meet them soon. I know it is hard to wait, but I'll wait with you if it helps. You can always e-mail me if you are having a rough day with the wait or if anything comes up. Julie in MN
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