Today Dave and I went to a conference/seminar thingie led by the University of Minnesota International Adoption Clinic. My friend, Julie, had informed us that this was going on, so we signed up and met her there. There was an agenda, so we knew what subjects we would be covering at the seminars. They talked about issues found in institutionalization, infectious diseases by country, gave us tips for parenting internationally adopted children, and explained the process for assessing international adoption referrals, and post placement check ups at the clinic. I am so happy to have this great resource in Minnesota.
The cool part about this clinic is that we can send them our referral along with a payment to get an idea of what kind of risks we would be looking at in adopting that/those child/ren. We send them our pictures, videos and documents that we receive from the orphanage and they will assess all of them for things like FAS (Fetal Alchohol Syndrome), as well as other issues they can find by looking through all of the provided material. They will then counsel the parents on what kinds of challenges they may face in adopting this child. Then post adoption, we will be able to go into their clinic for consults two weeks after we get home, six months after we get home, and then two more times over the next 1.5 years. The research that they are conducting and publishing is an amazing resource for those involved in international adoption!
Dave and I learned tons and tons today. Some of it was scary stuff about potential attachment issues, what kinds of behaviors we can expect in the first few weeks/months of being home with our child/ren, and what kinds of illnesses or diseases can be contracted. However, even with the doom and gloom of those topics, the professionals repeated one thing over and over again - all of the hard things that we will experience with our children WILL get easier over time. Plus, we are far from alone in this process. We have the support of their clinic, other adoptive families, our own extended families, our amazing adoption agency (Hand in Hand), and our fabulous social worker, Diane, who has tons of knowledge and experience with attachment issues.
We also got to learn about some interesting facts, like an effective way to deal with temper tantrums if we feel our child is going to hurt themselves or someone around them. We learned about how much progress these children will make just by being placed in a loving, safe and nurturing home. We will have to teach our children how to be in a family because they will have NO idea what it is. We will teach our children so many things, like facial expressions (lots of kids in orphanages don't really have a variety of facial expressions because they don't get the one-on-one, face-to-face contact with adults like biological kids typically do with their parents). We will teach our kids healthy eating habits (instead of hoarding food in their mouths or pockets for fear that their won't be food later when they are hungry). We will also teach our kids healthy sleeping habits. We will teach our children English, and hopefully some sign language. But most importantly, we will teach our children that they can TRUST us. That we are always going to love them, and that we are never ever ever ever going to abandon them.
They said that one of the best ways to create a trusting environment is to have a calm, peaceful home and to stick to a consistent routine. Now we all know from this post that I'm not a huge fan of being tied down to a schedule. HOWEVER, Dave LOVES routine. Dave loves waking up at the same time every morning (most mornings), giving Gus a rub down, going to the bathroom, taking Gus to the bathroom, eating breakfast, watching the morning news, and then getting ready for his day. Sometime in that mix, this growly bear wife of his sleep walks into the bathroom to crawl into the shower. My mornings are never the same. I never wake up at the same time, in fact I set my alarm for a different time every morning (I'm a weirdo, I know). I so appreciate the fact that Dave is the way he is, primarily because I know our children need this. I know that he will lead our family in the routine we have set, and will stick to it. I am grateful for that, because I would be a wreck without him.
Courtesy of Yahoo.com
No comments:
Post a Comment