Wise friends are good friends

Last night we were hanging out with our good friends, Aaron and Nikki. I told them that on Monday (October 22nd) it will be 2 months since ICAB (in the Philippines) has received our dossier. I was feeling down about the wait time, then Nikki said something that has stuck with me since then. She told me that she considers it two months closer toward getting our children. I have been so caught up in thinking that we've lost so much time in waiting, that I forgot to focus on the fact that every day and every minute brings us that much closer to being with our kids.

Ever since Nikki said that, I've been looking at things a little differently. I'm not feeling sorry for myself (as much) for having to wait, but instead I'm getting more and more excited about preparing. I can't wait to start shopping - I won't know exactly what I'm looking for since I don't know what age/gender/size our child/ren will be, but I can start looking and dreaming. I haven't let myself even think about preparing yet, because I consider being approved as "officially waiting".

So those are my (short) thoughts for now. I have a lot more running through my head so I'll post more about that later. Please pray that we hear our approval very soon. Thank you!!

Wise (and lovely) Nikki with baby Sam (lookin' so dapper)

Gus showing off his new haircut

Pity party

So today I threw myself a little pity party.

Ever since Sunday I'd been despairing more and more about not getting our approval from the Philippines. Today it turned into a full-fledged pity party with the works - tears, "its not fair" thoughts, and fearful thoughts of what is going on with our dossier... I kept worrying that our dossier was lost out there somewhere between the U.S. and the Philippines.

Then God did His thing and I received an e-mail from a gal in my Philippines adoption group on Yahoo. She said some things that were so detailed in what I needed to hear that I knew it was God speaking through her. She reassured me that my feelings are valid, and she is in the same place we are right now so she gets what I'm feeling. I can't even fully describe what it was she said to me, but all I know is that when I finished reading her e-mail, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my chest. The pity party was over.

I am attempting to appear to be a laid back person who has complete faith that this is all in God's hands, and His timing. I don't feel like that on the inside sometimes, and Dave tells me that I'm not really a laid back person :) My friend encouraged me to contact our adoption agency, and so I did. Karin e-mailed me back and let me know that I wasn't crazy, and that our dossier was received by ICAB (in the Philippines) on August 22. It makes me feel better knowing where our dossier is.

So still no news... and if you ever ask us "Any news?" and we answer with a grimace, just know that we are struggling with these feelings at times. And please continue praying, we can use all the shout-outs to God on our behalf that we can get right now.

Gus and his girlfriend, Porter

Augustus Goggles Ribar (Gus)

On Thursday, Dave and I picked up a new puppy!! We would like to introduce you to Augustus Goggles Ribar, for short we call him Gus. He is a schnoodle, which is a cross between a schnauzer and a poodle. He will be about 45-60 pounds when he is full grown.

So far he has been a great little puppy - following us around everywhere and doing his duties where appropriate! He's also been good for a lot of laughs. He's still pretty clumsy, and when he tries to run as fast as he can his front legs can't keep up and he does a face plant. Yesterday we introduced him to Rachel's family, and he LOVED Maddie and Grace. The breeder we got him from had kids who handled the puppies every day. Gus's face lit up and he ran over to Maddie and Grace when they walked in the door.

We weren't sure if we were going to get another puppy after Marley died, but now we are so glad that we did! Marley still holds a special place in our hearts, but we've got lots of puppy love to go around :) We'll update often with stories and pictures!

Form I-171H

Well, we haven't received approval from the Philippines, but we have received our I-171H form. This means that the UCSIS (U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services) has processed our fingerprints, and we are approved on the U.S. side to get visas for our child(ren) as soon as we are matched. The weird part about this form, is that if we haven't been approved in 15 months, our fingerprints expire and we have to do them all over again. If it takes longer than 18 months, then we have to re-apply and pay the fees all over again.

So a BIG prayer request that we have is to get matched with our child(ren) by AUGUST 18, 2008. We have so much to pay for already, that if we don't have to re-pay all of these fees, it would help a lot.

Well, we continue to wait on our Philippines approval. It can take a while for the Philippines to communicate with the adoption agency that we have been approved, so we may have already been approved for two weeks before we hear it. We've been doing a great job of staying busy, and not thinking too much about how we haven't been approved yet. I think the prayers of everyone are really helping us to remain patient. When we were trying to get pregnant, I felt like I was going crazy some days because I thought about it so much, and was so impatient for it. This experience is totally different, I feel such peace - even in the tough, waiting times. I know that this peace is not from myself, it's peace and patience that can only come from God.

Thanks for sending your comments, we love reading them (send more, send more!!).

Married for 5 years!!!!!

On Friday, September 14, Dave and I celebrated our 5th anniversary. Wow!! I can't believe that it has been 5 years, but it makes us feel so good. To celebrate our anniversary, we decided to roadtrip out to South Dakota for a nice vacation. Here is a picture of us celebrating on our wedding night at a delicious restaurant where we chowed down on yummy steak.

We hit all the stops we could think of, and here are the pics to prove it...

Dave posing in front of the Corn Palace in Mitchell, SD

I can't tell if I'm trying to kiss this guy or say, "Looooooook, it's ye olde gold miner!!"

Dave and I posing in a carriage in the 1880's town

A little shout-out to Okoboji, IA while standing in the Badlands

Okay, so the Flintstones village was closed, but Dave was always jealous that Joel and Michelle got to see it, so he posed by the sign. Next time, Davey, I promise we'll see Fred and Barney and Dino and all their friends.

Devil's Tower, Wyoming - the legend on this one from the North American Indians is that a bear was chasing some children, and the rock told them to climb onto it and it raised up to the sky. The bear clawed the rock to try and get to the children and left these huge gashes down the rock. Really, it's lava rock - but I thought it was a cool story!!

The newest addition to Mt Rushmore...

Really excited to be from Minnesota, I guess

The Crazy Horse model in front of the actual Crazy Horse statue (off in the distance, kind of hard to see)

The wait continues

It's been 35 days since our dossier was sent to the Philippines by courier. We were really hoping that we would hear by now that we are approved to adopt by the Philippines. The wait is anywhere from 4-12 weeks to hear this news. We haven't been obsessing over not getting this news, but it's definitely something I think about once in a while during the week.

We heard from Hand in Hand that right now there is a huge international adoption conference going on in the Philippines right now. That means that representatives from EVERY international adoption agency in the world are meeting in the Philippines right now. That's a lot of people!!! So they let us know that since the Philippines adoption board is focusing on the conference right now, it will probably take longer for us to get approved.

So we wait...

Well, we have started our three weeks of craziness. From this past Friday (August 31) until September 18, we are home for 5 of those evenings.

Dave has conveniently volunteered us for a committee at church during one of the busiest times of the year for us. I don't know why, but it seems like the end of August through mid-September is crazy every year. Last year was the same way. So anyways, Dave and I are the media team leaders for the capital campaign at our church. We are fundraising to build a church building (we currently meet in an elementary school). It is good to be a part of all of this - just last night I realized that God is even in the brochure-making parts of our lives. So if God cares about our brochure-making stresses in life, then He surely cares about my babies more than I can even imagine over in the Philippines. It is good knowing that God knows who my babies are, and where my babies are, and when we'll be united with them. I know I say "babies" and "them" a lot, and that is because we are really praying that we are able to adopt 2 children from the Philippines on the first go-around. I don't think it's crazy - I really feel like we could do it and would be greatly blessed by having 2 children who are siblings.

The one good thing about the craziness of our life right now is that it does not allow me to sit here and think, "Okay, we sent our dossier to the Philippines on August 16th. It is now September 4th. We should be hearing something in about 2-4 weeks. Okay, what are those dates? What can I expect? What kind of information will I receive? Then what do I do? How are we paying for this? How are we going to be able to wait so long???" Instead, I stay busy with other things, and when I think about the adoption I pray that God is guiding the people in the Philippines to make wise decisions. I pray that our paperwork moves through the government in a timely fashion. But mostly, I pray that my children, their birthparents, and their caregivers are being watched over right now - that they are safe and loved.

Dave and I got the chance to talk with his family this weekend about the adoption. If I had my choice, I'd talk non-stop about the adoption forever and ever. Luckily, I understand that this would drive other people crrrrrrrazy! So whenever we get a chance to talk about it with people we love, and who are excited for us, we gab away.

At one point during the weekend I got to talk with Dave's mom about the weird emotions that I have experienced. At all times I am thrilled that we are adopting. I can't wait to meet our children, and have them home with us, and be a family. But there are times that I still mourn the fact that we haven't been able to get pregnant. It is such a conflicting emotion. It isn't that I feel like adoption is second-best at all, I just wish that I could experience the very beginning of my child's life. I know that I hold them in my heart, instead of my belly and arms, from the time they are babies. It's hard to explain these emotions, and very difficult to admit that I still long to be pregnant someday. I once read a book called Inconceivable - and it was a phenomonal non-fiction read. I would recommend it to anyone who experiences these crazy feelings. It explains what I talk about here way better than I could explain it.

So that's what I am feeling tonight. Thanks for reading our blog, and praying with us through this journey.