Realization

Today I logged onto the Ya.hoo Philippines Adoption group that I belong to and saw that a woman posted news of her referral. I was so excited to see it that I called Dave right away to tell him about it. He said, "That's great news! Isn't it great and kind of weird to feel excited for someone rather than jealous that they just got what you've been wanting for months and years now?" I had to agree with him!

As I did a little self-assessment of my feelings, I realized I didn't feel jealous at all. Instead I felt happy for her, excited that it was one more name off of the list ahead of Dave and I, nervous for the day that I get the call, excited for the day that I get the call, and just good in general. I realized that this woman had only waited 11 months for her referral, and though she does have some distant Philippine heritage in her family (through her grandfather), which may have helped her referral go a little quicker, it just made me realize that Dave's and my day isn't really that far away! Even if we have to wait 9-18 more months for our referral, that is next February-November. The way that days fly by for us, it doesn't feel that far away!!

I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. This wait has not been excruciating for me (not like the approval wait - now THAT was excruciating for me). Instead, I've been in a great mood most days. When I think of the wait (at least once per day), I'm amazed at how quickly it is going. People hear me reciting exactly how long we've been waiting (thanks to my little tracker at the top of the blog!), and I think they misinterpret that as an obsession and sadness about how long the wait is taking. They look at me with sympathy when I tell them how long it's been, and I have to say, "No!! It's not a bad thing! Dave and I are enjoying our time together". I keep waiting for the day that I fall into a panicked depression because we still haven't received our referral. God has been working wonders on my heart during this wait, which I feel is the number one best part about this wait.